At the moment the questions running through my head are:
will Bookasaurus be ok in a mainstream Junior school, would a smaller quieter school be better, should I try and keep him with his friends, would a specialist school catering for autistic children be the right place, would a private school really allow him to thrive, should I start thinking about secondary school, will he cope with exams at the end of Juniors?
It’s that time when as parents we are starting to think about the next step for our children’s education.
People will give you different advice and suggestions about what will meet your child’s needs. It can start to get a bit daunting, confusing and overwhelming.
We have a choice we can either take no action at all (inaction) react to the situation or take action.
I remember when Bookasaurus was at nursery I did think maybe there was somewhere better suited for him, but I didn’t do anything about it. Now I’m further along in my journey I know that taking positive action is what brings me a feeling of being more in control again.
I have already looked at different schools and will be visiting more in the next week. It’s just looking at options to see what would work best for Bookasaurus. I think getting a feel for a place is really important and asking the questions that are on your mind. Even the awkward ones.
I told Bookasaurus that we were going to visit a school and that it was for children who learn differently and those with autistic brains. He said, ‘so I’ll be going to that one then’.
We also talked about mainstream schools, and he said, ‘is that the one you went to Mummy’, and I said yes and ‘did Daddy go to the school I’ll be going to?’ I replied that when we were younger, they didn’t have schools with extra help and support. My husband muttered ‘I just got told off’.
I love that Bookasaurus was so matter of fact and accepting when I said he was going to visit a SEN (special educational needs) school but then he doesn’t have any of the worries, or prejudices that float through my head. Wouldn’t it be nice to be like that and cut out the noise in our heads! It is possible not to dwell on thoughts and just let them pass through our heads. We think far too much and as Bookasaurus showed me sometimes we should just get on with it!
There aren’t many decisions that can’t be changed and if he were to go to a school and it didn’t work out then I can always take action to find somewhere else.
I’m also conscious that some parents are finding it hard to even access the education system for their child. Others are going down the home-schooling route which can have great benefits and challenges at the same time. The best of luck with whichever decision you make!
Tips:
- I’ve always found that going with my feelings for a school/nursery is usually the right way to go and you can always change your decision.
- Be objective about other people’s views and advice. You know your child best just take on board the guidance that you think is helpful and don’t dwell on the rest although it’s not always easy.
- Take positive action – whether that’s looking at different school options, asking questions, talking to the County Council if you have an EHCP (Educational Health Care Plan) etc.
- Involve your child take them to the school/nursery and talk to them about what to expect and let them know they can ask you questions.
- We can’t control everything – when you’ve taken positive action then try not to dwell on things that you can’t control like catchment areas etc (unless you’re prepared to move house). It’s so easy to get caught up in our thinking and keep coming back to the same concern but if there isn’t anything you can do about it then it’s best to let that thought go and get on with living and enjoying the rest of your life.
What questions do you have on your mind at the moment about choosing a school or the right type of education for your child? If my blog resonates with you then let me know in my Comments section below.
I’m a Life Coach and my passion is working with other Mums of autistic/ADHD children if you would like to talk to someone who understands I can help you remove the barriers to your thinking, so that you feel calmer and more positive again. I work with Mums of nursery to junior school-aged children. Contact me for a free initial conversation to find out more about my service and how it could help you. E-mail me at jo@learningtoloveautism.com or drop me a line using my Contact page. See my ‘Work With Me’ page for more information.
Nikkie Thornton-Bryar says
Hi Jo, you make it all sound so wonderful and that we have choices and it is all so positive… my experience has been painful, with limited support, fight against the system, fight for diagnosis, fight for EHCP, primary behaviour unit, eventually get help in mainstream and then they turn around and say they cannot cope, so we are looking at specialist, but no one can tell us where to look or what’s available and then they offer one 44 miles away… It’s been tough! And the battle continues…
Jo Long says
Hi Nikkie, I really feel for you it can be so challenging trying to do the best for your child and coming up against so many barriers. There are so many mums out there who are struggling with similar issues. I have been there, and as you know it was starting to affect my health, but I had my Coach in my corner and it made such a difference to have someone to talk to and to very gradually move me forward.
It is now so rewarding as a Coach myself to help other Mums work through their thoughts and feelings so that they start to feel calm and positive and to see them taking small steps to get the results that they want. Don’t get me wrong there are always going to be challenges but it becomes easier to bounce back and move to a more positive frame of mind. Wishing you all the best and as always here if you need me. xx