Playing with friends

Another child might naturally develop the skills and niceties of playing with a friend but Bookasaurus needs a bit of help.  As I’m learning children on the Autistic Spectrum can find knowing how to interact/play and communicate with other children tricky.  We might intuitively be able to pick up on another person’s body language and know that we have to take turns but autistic children often need help to learn and practise these skills.

We had a friend round and Bookasaurus started to play a game putting his teddies in their beds for the night which was Mummy and Daddy’s bed!  One of Bookasaurus’s strengths is his imagination which can make for some fun games for his friends.

To start with Bookasaurus wanted to be totally in control of the game and do everything himself so I suggested ‘how about you let your friend put the teddies in the bed’.  It took a couple of goes but he let his friend join in and put the teddies in their beds and he actually enjoyed including his friend in the game.

I was also pleasantly surprised when he let his friend win a car race, on other occasions playing races with friends there have been tears.  He sometimes does have in his head that he has to win everything which I think is partly a boy thing.  I think it’s a lot about showing him what is friendly/kind play and then he’ll have a go at following that. He almost let his friend choose a story to read but then said ‘no’ but we found something they both liked to read in the end!

As they played, I kept an eye on them because Bookasaurus can be overly tactile and I didn’t want his friend to get pulled or pushed. I also encouraged him to ask them if they wanted to try a hat on rather than just plonking it on their head. The play was still very much on his agenda but thankfully his friend was happy to go along with it.

I messaged the mum of Bookasaurus’s friend that evening and she came back to say that her Sweetasaurus seems to be quite patient and does not really mind that Bookasaurus finds some things harder she just accepts him as he is.  What a grownup, understanding thing to say and it brought a lump to my throat.  I think Bookasaurus learned a lot and his friend gave him the chance to do that.

Tips for playing with friends:

• Find a friend whose laid back or has experience with children with development/sensory challenges
• If possible, give them your attention and suggest how to play so both children are included and get a turn
• One friend can be enough (I’ve found that more children can be overwhelming)
• Keep the play date short – I’ve found that after about 2 hours things can start to get too much

Do let me know what you found most helpful from my Blog today in my ‘Comments’ section, if I can help you or if you have any suggestions to help?  It’s not easy being parents of children with extra challenges but together we can ‘Learn to Love Autism’ and support our children and ourselves so that we all thrive together.

You can also e-mail me at jo@learningtoloveautism.com, drop me a line using the form on my Contact page and see my 1:1 packages on my ‘Work With Me’ page.

Disclaimer:

The suggestions provided on this website are for information and sharing purposes only. They should not be treated as professional medical advice or a substitute for diagnosis/treatment, so please speak to your health professional for help.